02 October, 2011

My form of healing.

I'm very sorry that I haven't been posting. It has been almost 2 months since my last post, and a lot has changed since then. I started to write about everything that has happened lately. I had a partial list of things written, and then I got to the topic of my grandpa. And then all of the emotions that I have been pushing down started gushing back up again, and I knew that this post just needed to focus on him. I need to get this out, to tell someone who may or may not care, so that I can begin to really heal instead of pretend to deal with it.

After my last post, things changed drastically with Grandpa. He got very sick again. He went back into the hospital for a while, and then was discharged after being told that he had less than 6 months to live. He came home on Thursday, August 25th. When he was told that he only had a short while to live, he said that his last request was for his whole family to go to church with him one last time, and have one last big family dinner. On that next Sunday (the 28th) everyone--all 29 of us--all went to church together for the first time in years. While there, my grandpa had requested that my dad play a song for him on the piano, and that The Generations Quartet (consisting of my grandma, uncle, aunt, and cousin) sing two songs for him. Grandpa sat in his wheel chair, sometimes falling asleep due to the morphine he was on.

After church, we all went to my grandparents' house for dinner. I don't even remember what all we had to eat. What I do remember is that once everyone was done eating, Grandpa had us all come into the living room where he was laying in his hospital bed so he could talk to us. He told us that instead of 6 months, or less, he had now been told that he had 3 or 4 weeks left. He asked us all to sit down, because he had some stuff to tell us. I think we all realized then that this was his last big goodbye.

He told us about his childhood, not really ever hearing his dad or adoptive parents tell him that he loved him. That's why, he said, that he was always telling his kids and grandkids that he loved them. Always giving us all hugs and kisses. Always showing us that we were the most important things to him. Well, second most important. God was always first in his life.

He told us all that he knew that he had made mistakes throughout his life, but he hoped that we could forgive him for anything that he had done. He didn't want any of us to still be hurt or angry with him when he was gone.

After he finished talking, about 2 hours later, he simply passed out. He was so worn out from talking to us, trying in earnest to make sure that everything was OK between us and him, that he fell asleep.

On Tuesday, around 5pm while I was on lunch at work, I got a text from my mom telling me that they were moving my grandpa to Hospice and that they were giving him 18-36 hours left to live. I was so stunned, that I could only reply with "Okay". We had just seen him 2 days ago, and he was nowhere near needing to go to hospice. I couldn't help it, I started crying, then bawling. I couldn't stop. Here I was; hiding in a coat closet at work, trying my best to be silent while crying so hard I almost made myself sick. After a couple minutes, one of the other reps saw me and took me over to the HR manager's office. I explained to her what happened, and she told me to go home. In her words, "You can't exactly take calls if you're crying." She told me to give her a call the next day to let her know what was going on.
Grandpa made it through that night.  When nothing had changed by 11:30 Wednesday morning, I made the decision to go to work. I dropped Little I off at daycare and made it as far as my desk before my manager saw me and told me to just go home and be with my family. So that's what I did. Grandpa held on until a little after midnight on Friday, September 2nd. I was still awake, praying. I had felt all night like something was happening. I just knew that I would be getting a call that night. 

In the hospice room, we always had music playing. It was always Christian music. A day before Grandpa passed away while I was at home,  a Chris Tomlin CD was playing. The song "Jesus Messiah" came on and my aunt said, "Wouldn't it be great if this was the song he went home to?" So it was a surprise that it was playing when Grandpa took his last breath on Friday.

^My favorite version of the song.

 Since Grandpa passed, there have been a lot of firsts for our family. Things that we never even thought of before he died. I think it really hit me hard when we went to church the Sunday after he passed, because Little I and I usually sat in the pew with him when he was there. It felt soooo lonely in that pew with just me and Little I. So here is a lists of some of our firsts:
First time back at church without him.
First family dinner without him.
First "Grandma Day" without him.
Mom and H's first birthdays without him.

The holidays are approaching fast, and I know they're going to be really hard on all of us, Grandma especially.  So if you remember, please just send up a few prayers for us.

10 August, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 8: Storytime with Box Girl

Little I and my sister, forevermore called "Box Girl"
The box is always more fun than what is in it--in this case, a built-in cabinet way taller than me.

30 July, 2011

Well it's been ten days since my last post. And eleven days since my last workout.

Good news? My job is going pretty good. Oh, and I've lost another 4 pounds! :-) I think it is the heat and all the water I've been drinking. Which means it's probably more water weight and I will gain it back easily. :-(

Because of the heat, I moved the air conditioner from Little I's room to the living room to keep the downstairs cool (at least cooler than 84 degrees!) so he's been sleeping in my room. Now, that wouldn't really be that bad except that he is a very active sleeper. If I had a video camera with night vision, I'd take a video to show you. Last night, I woke up about 22 times because of him. I can't wait till it gets a little cooler!

Also, since my last post, my grandpa (Little I's PeePaw) went back into the hospital. His tumor had regrown and was blocking his esophagus which lead to him being dehydrated and malnourished. So he had a feeding tube put in (The kind that goes directly into the stomach through his abdomen, bypassing his esophagus). Since he's been able to get food and liquids into his body again,  he is getting stronger and has been started on a new round of chemo (I think it's different than the last time, I don't know). And he came home either yesterday or Thursday. I was at work, so I don't know exactly when... I seem to only find out about things when people find it convenient to tell me or I walk in on a conversation about it. I didn't even know that he got put back in the hospital until two days later.

Anyway, he's doing a lot better as far as I know. And Little I got to talk to him on the phone today.

Well, I have some cleaning/playing/studying for work to do. I have another post already started for tomorrow, or maybe later today if I have time.

20 July, 2011

Jillian's 30 day shred: Day 5

Uh, nope. Not doing it. In case you don't know, I live in Ohio. We're having a MAJOR heat wave and I am definitely not used to the 90+ degree heat. Nor am I liking the fact that it was 84 degrees in my house when I got home from work. So, no. I am not working out tonight. Instead, I'm drinking a ton of water and calling it good. Whatever.

And we have a predicted high of 97 degrees tomorrow. So tomorrow is not likely either. Oh well. But I'm not giving up.

On another (but connected) topic, I am really over being single. I just want a stable relationship for once in my life. I want someone to come home to at night. Someone who will not only love me, but love Little I as his own. Someone who will listen when I need to rant, and who will trust me to listen when he needs to rant. I just want love and stability. Not a "perfect" or fairy-tale relationship, just one that works. Fights, disagreements, compromises, and companionship--as long as we work it all out. I want a partner in life and in parenting. I just want what I should have had in the first place.

In order to find the man I want, or let him find me, I need to "fix" myself. I need to be able to love myself, whether or not that means losing weight and changing other aspects of my life.

This is another reason why I'm not going to give up on Jillian's program. Because I *need* to do this for me and Little I and the life we could eventually have.

Okay, I'm done for now. It's bedtime and I'm not prepared to get too deep in my thoughts.

Jillian's 30 day shred: Day 3 & 4

Okay, so it's getting a little easier to do her program. Although I'm still in a bit of pain the day(s) after doing the workout.

So here is what's happening:

Still on Level 1.
Still doing some of the moves in the "modified" positions.
Still taking a few extra breaks (including the last cardio section at the end)
Still red faced and puffing at the end.

I've lost 5 pounds! (I know, it's gotta be mostly water weight)
I won't measure again till it's been a week, so nothing to report there. And my clothes still fit the same, I think. Yay, good news!

Also, training for my job is going pretty good! However, I did learn that my first paycheck will only be for one week (although I will have worked 2 weeks by then) so the money issue is still stressing me out. I'm hoping my parents will let me be late on my rent. :-/

Little I is still hit and miss with the potty, but that's okay. We're not in a rush (or he isn't) so it's not a big deal.

Annnddd... Today when he went to daycare, it was the first time he didn't throw a fit! So that's double good news today!

Tonight, though, I'm tired. Who knew sitting at a desk training for a job would tire me out so much. Or maybe it's the temperatures we've been having lately. Today the "feels like" temperature was over 100⁰!!! Or it could be that Little I is testing more and more of his boundaries... and therefore keeping me on my toes and leaving me feeling exhausted. But, hey, that's a topic for another time.

And with that, it's time that I call it a night and get some sleep.

17 July, 2011

Jillian's 30 day shred: Day 2

Okay, so tonight is a no-go. I'm so sore (even after stretching and doing the "warm up" part of the workout) that I can hardly climb the stairs and there's no way I'm going to be able to take off my shirt without considerable pain.

Well, I'm not giving up. Tomorrow is a new day. Actually, it's my first day at my NEW JOB!!! All the more reason to keep up with this workout and change my life for the better; After all--being fat costs more money than being thin.

Anyway, Little I is waking up so this is going to be a short post.

I'll definitely be doing the workout tomorrow and giving an update.

Texas, I swear!

So... Apparently Little I is still into the potty thing. He's been going all day. But he's still in diapers/bumble pants. I'm not going to risk my carpet tonight.

Plus, I swear he has a bladder the size of Texas!!!! He goes every 5 minutes--and actually pees every single time. Texas, I swear!!!

^^^His additions. He only has access to the 10-key. Haha.

Anyway, that's a mini update. I'll hopefully update later with Day 2 of Jillian's 30 day shred, but I'm super SORE from last night. Crazy, since I told you I skipped some of it entirely. I must be more out of shape than I remembered. :-(

Jillian's 30 day shred: Day 1

Okay, so if you know me in real life, you know that I've struggled with my weight for a very long time. Almost half my life (and I'm 22). After I had Little I, however, things just seemed to get out of control.

I'm not going to put my weight out there, because it's way too embarrassing for me. But let's just say that I got a wake-up call this morning when I weighed myself for the first time in a few weeks. I was so upset that I decided that it's definitely time to do something, change something. First, I'm re-starting Jillian's 30 day shred. Second, I'm changing up my eating habits. Third, I'm going to get off this stupid birth control, since I maintained my weight pretty well up until I got on the depo shot. Apparently one of the side effects that I neglected to read was weight gain. -_-

Tonight (actually, I finished less than 5 minutes ago) I started the 30 day shred. Again. I've started it probably 5 times now and never stuck with it. Mostly it's because when I do the first workout, I feel so horrible about how out of shape I am in.

So tonight when I started, I got out of breath very quickly and had to take many breaks (even skipping the entire last cardio/abs section) But I'm going to keep at it and use this blog to keep me accountable. Hopefully I'll be able to tell you that the weight is dripping off soon. Let's be serious though; it's going to be hard.

Here are my beginning stats:
Height: 5'11"
Weight: ...?
Bust: 48"
Stomach: 50"
Hips: 54"
Thighs: R: 34" L: 35"
Arms: R: 19" L: 20"

Weight: 175lbs
Bust: 40"
Stomach: 35"
Hips: 40"
Thighs: 25-30" (each)
Arms: No idea... 15-16" ?

UGH!! UGH!!! UGH!!!

I'm going to try to take before pictures tonight (probably not because I feel gross and otherwise horrible) and I'll post them when I'm done and closer to my goals.

Night all.

12 July, 2011

Potty Learning, Day 1

So. Today officially marks day 1 of mine and Little I's potty learning adventure. If you've been following, you've seen the beginning efforts but that failed miserably when he started refusing to use the toilet. Lately, I've stopped the "training" and started to really just listen to his cues.

Today, Little I saw a pair of his underwear in his dresser and REALLY wanted to wear them.

Yes, they match his shirt.

Of course I let him and so far we've only had one accident. I don't think he likes having to go all the way upstairs (interrupting his playtime) to go change, so hopefully this will be the start of the end of our time in diapers.

Who knows, though. this afternoon may come and he could want nothing to do with the potty or underwear. :-/ I guess it's a wait and see. :-)

More updates will (hopefully) follow tonight.

UPDATE: Okay, so this morning was a fluke. Let's just say that by the end of today, I was very glad that I have a carpet cleaner. :-/
I think there will be some more waiting for him to get ready, although if tomorrow he wants to wear underwear and go pee on the potty, that's fine by me.

08 July, 2011

Late night stream of consciousness (Rant)

So I'm sitting here and it's 11:00 at night. Not really "late night" for some people, but I'm usually in bed. Tonight, I can't sleep. I miss my bed, and I miss being able to go to sleep without wondering, "did I lock Ashley in her cage?" I'm just tired of house sitting for mom and dad and I want them to hurry on their way home. I still have all of tomorrow and probably at least half of Sunday to go. And I'm just tired of it.
Yes, I love the central air and the washer/dryer being up on the main floor and not having to go up the stairs to get Little I when he starts crying. But I'm tired of the dogs. And not having "my" stuff. Everything here is theirs and I know that if it's not perfect when they get back I'm going to get an ear full. Never mind that I put my life on hold to watch your house. Never mind that you didn't leave your house clean when you left. I'm still going to get yelled at because it's not exactly how you think it should be.
I think that next year I'm going to use my vacation to go down there and stay in a hotel, drive my own vehicle, and be on my own schedule. Of course I'll have to be there for the obligatory family meals and stuff like that, but I won't have to be worrying about messing up Little I's bedtime or nap time or being yelled at for my parenting style. Or that when I say anything that sparks an argument with B, I'm the one who gets yelled at. Let alone if I tell her how to do something for Little I, that ends with her saying, "well then I just won't ever do _____ for you anymore" (the blank being: watch him, play with him, whatever happens to be at the root of that fight at the moment) Or "You just don't appreciate me. You never say thank you." to which I reply that I do say thank you, but I say thank you to the person who actually does what she was supposed to do. (She used to watch him for me during class. She wouldn't do any of the normal things a babysitter should do (feed him, change his diaper), and then mom (or my grandma) would step in and take over).

You know what makes me mad? Back when he was a baby, I had to fight to do things for him when I was with my family. They always took him from me and would change his diaper, feed him, do whatever. Now? if he needs ANYTHING they always say, "go tell mommy". Really? Like I don't do everything on my own already. Maybe I only come here seeking some sort of reprieve? I have had him every waking hour of the day, have changed endless diapers, fixed every meal, cleaned everything that needed cleaned, and you can't find it in yourself to put some water in his cup or change his diaper when he has only peed?? (Mom will fill his cup for me if I ask and she's already in the kitchen, but it mostly ends with me going in the kitchen myself. And will SOMETIMES change his diaper if I practically force her... I get the diaper and throw him on the couch next to her)

And would it kill you to have him overnight once in a while? The last time she kept him overnight--not counting the half-night when I put him to bed and went with dad and B to the midnight premiere of Green Lantern and came home and got up with him at 6:30--was for my birthday.... in January. Or maybe it was the first Friday/Saturday of February.. I can't remember.

And even when she keeps him, it's not like I can do anything. I can't even properly sleep in because she usually wants me to pick him up at 8 or 10. When my sisters and I were growing up, my parents had every Tuesday night and ALL DAY Wednesday off in the summer. We spent the night at my grandparents' house for Grandma Day. And Mamaw and Papaw kept us whenever mom and dad wanted them to.

I get it. I got pregnant at a very inconvenient time. I had a baby out of wedlock. And everyone constantly says how "supportive" a family I have. Why? because they didn't disown me? Yes, my parents let me pay them half the rent they normally expect for my side of the rental property. However, once Justin moved out, they totally could have just let Little I and I move back in to my old room... but no, they had already given that to B.

Wow, this has really gotten off track! Not that there was a track, really. But now that Little I has woken up (briefly, I hope) It's time for me to cuddle him and go to sleep. :-)

Why my pictures are blurry.

07 July, 2011

Today's events

Today, I found out that I get to start my job on July 18th! Pretty excited! :-D

Today I signed off my cash assistance (terminated it) and don't have to be around massive quantities of Q-Tips anymore. :-D

Today, the Casey Anthony trial. 'Nuff said, right?

Well here's something you may not know:
Today, she learned when she'll be released.
Then, (also today) a tree at the site where Caylee was found was hit by lightning and split.

Obviously SOMEONE ELSE isn't happy with the "court system" right now.

And... Caylee was alive for one day less than Casey will have served in jail for her death lying to police. :-(


Tonight my (parents') porch light is on in remembrance of Caylee Anthony.

And with that, it's time for me to be off. Little I will surely wake up sometime soon and then it'll be time for me to snuggle him and go to bed. :-)

06 July, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 7: Mommy and Little I

A progression of love...

Love at first sight. '09

Laying around '09
Fun at the park '09

Summer '10

Trip to NC '10
Off to college '10
Second Christmas '10
Dedication '11
Winter '11

Second Easter '11
Summer '11

03 July, 2011

For real? Boys play with dolls too!

So... after posting this picture on my Facebook:

This is one response I got:

Him: Did u want a daughter or something?

Me: What? No, why?

Him: Y do u have ur son playing wit dolls?
         He's a boy?

Me: Well, for one, he can play with whatever he wants to. Second, I'm house sitting for my parents, so we have the toys I brought and my little sister's toys.

Him: Ok whatever you say its ur child

Me: That's right.

And this is why I HATE stereotypes and double standards. Why is it wrong for a boy to play with dolls, and yet girls can play with cars and trucks and just about everything stereotypically labeled as a "boy" type of toy?

This is why I let Little I play with anything he wants to; from dolls and everyone's shoes--he especially loves heels--to trucks and cars and little plastic power tools. I want to raise my son to think for himself, not to let society do his thinking for him. Of course, I'm not going to go as far as to keep my son's gender a secret, but I'm not going to get mad if he wants to do "girly" things.

I love my son just the way he is--dolls and all.

29 June, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 6: Cars, Cars, Cars!

Okay.... so words first and THEN the "wordless" part of Wordless Wednesday. Little I's birthday party was Saturday (don't worry, as soon as I get pics there will be a post!) and he got TONS of cars to play with. Then my Aunt L was cleaning out her youngest son's room and gave us tons of stuff, too! A Car bed, a car/lego table (with storage underneath) and lots of toys. So, on to the wordless part: here's Little I doing what he does best--playing!

The table is just short enough for Little I to kneel and play

22 June, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 5

Potty training Little I has started off slow. We're starting to get the hang of it though. :-)

A true man. Reading a book on the toilet.

Woo-hoo, Take Four!

Another short post, but it's okay. Mostly because...

I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, thanks for everyone who was praying, sending good vibes, etc. This is really exciting! I've already had my budget in place for a year, and now I'll have a little room to breathe.

And I can't stop thinking of all the things I want to buy for Little I!

  1. A swing set/climber.
  2. A real pool... not like his little wader pool. 
  3. Lots and lots of clothes and shoes.
  4. Tons of books
  5. And even though he doesn't really need them... more toys.
Oh, and stuff for me/the house:

  1. Stuff to hook up the dishwasher, 
  2. Some kind of rubberized flooring stuff for the basement to make it a play area
  3. A mower.
  4. A gate for both porches (or possibly convince my dad to build them if I buy the supplies.)
  5. A new dining room table... since Little I sliced the laminate down the middle.
  6. A storage unit/some shelves to store Little I's toys in.
  7. Possibly a better computer for school (and/or Microsoft Office 2010)
  8. Stuff for my car.

I know these things won't come right away (or even in a few months) but it's something to dream about for after all my debt is paid off and I've started saving. I want to have at least $2,000 saved before I buy anything outrageous...although Little I's swing set/climber can't wait very long,
or it will be too late to play with it.

Oh, and lastly, I can finally start tithing on a regular basis! That's something I'm really excited about.

Ah, now I can finally start to relax about stuff. To start: I'm going to sit down on the couch and watch my recorded shows (Covert Affairs and MasterChef)

Night, all!

14 June, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 4: PeePaw is BACK!

Yes, there are some words here: So PeePaw was finally well enough to come back to church. 
And guess who HAD to sit next to him.

Gluing himself to the pew.

Copying PeePaw

Woo-hoo, take three! (and other stuff)

I had my interview today. It went REALLY good! First I was interviewed by one girl, who gave me the initial green light to be interviewed by someone higher up, who gave me the green light to finish the process with a background check. So as long as I pass the background check I'll start on July 18th. (haha, who are we kidding... I'll be starting on July 18th) :-D

As for the work program (S.C.O.P.E.) I'm not happy with the type of work we're doing (packaging Q-Tips for sale at Target and CVS and packing them in baggies for homeless shelters) I'm easily advancing there. In the beginning, you start off counting and packing the Q-Tips. Then, if you take initiative, you move to weighing the packed Q-Tips, and then finally to sealing the packs which then are put into boxes for shipping. In the 4 days I've been there (not counting orientation) I'm already sealing the packages. Fun, right?

Here are some of the things I've been doing at the Job Center (Thurs, Fri, Mon, and today)
The Q-Tips we use to fill the containers (we wear gloves)

The containers we use for sale at Target and CVS
Fun at the end of Friday

Fun at the end of Friday

Fun at the end of Friday

The bags of Q-Tips for the homeless shelter
The sealer (AKA my new plaything)

Sealed bag of Q-Tips

So hopefully glad that I'll be leaving for my job soon!

Also, Little I is not adjusting to going back to daycare very easily. He cries every time I drop him off, and runs to me crying when I pick him up. It's wearing on me, and according to my mom, I'm "spoiling" him now. By spoiling, she must mean the constant holding, cuddling, nursing and responding to his every need like normal. Oh, wait--I did let him have an Oreo as a part of his bedtime snack. Uh-oh, he's spoiled.

Well, it's late and I'm tired and I have to go back to the Job Center tomorrow morning... Goodnight!

08 June, 2011

Woo-hoo, take two!

So that phone interview I had went really well!

And now I have an on-site interview this coming Tuesday!!!! As Little I says, Hoo-hoo!!!

I'm so nervous EXCITED!!!!

 Now, please pray, cross your fingers, send positive vibes or whatever you do that I get this job. It would be a definite life-saver.

Oh, by the way. Temps here have been NUTS! So here's a photo of Little I enjoying a Popsicle to keep cool. :-)

He loves cherry Popsicles

And he loves playing with them more

07 June, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 3

Bookish Babe


Guess who has a job interview! Okay, so it's only a phone interview. However, if I do well on the phone interview, then I get an on site interview. I'm so excited!

It's a good job: Customer Service.

It has great benefits: health, life, dental, disability insurance, paid time off, paid holidays, and 401 (k) with a company match.​ Also, the company pays for lunch on Mondays. :-)

It has good hours: 8am to 5pm for 4 weeks for (paid) training, then 12pm to 9pm (with chances to switch shifts later)

I'm not going to name where it is, but it's a pretty great company to work for. :-) 

I really hope I get this job. Crossing my fingers!

06 June, 2011

Where do I begin?

I know, I know. I said I was going to keep this thing more updated. And then life happened: my computer broke (one of the hinges broke, which led to the casing coming apart and whatever else) on Friday the 20th and that led me to being without this thing for over 2 weeks. Crazy!

So. Here's an update on us:

My grandpa got out of the hospital, albeit later than originally planned. He is now home and doing much better: he even came to church today!

K moved out. Part of me is glad, but mostly I'm just peeved that she fucked me over (and my parents, who own the house I rent).  She moved into her recently deceased grandmother's house, because in order to keep insurance on the house someone who is family has to be living there. So she's living there for free... for now. Just wait till her dad tells her to either pay rent or move out.

I'm still looking for a job. I've put in TONS of applications, and I think I may have to resort to fast food... :-/ Also, because I'm receiving funds from the state while looking for work, I have to do a work program through them. 84 hours a month. (which, if you figure it all out, means I'm getting $4.23 per hour) All to get $355 a month that doesn't even cover my rent, let alone my other bills.

Little I will be 2 in 2 1/2 weeks. Aah! He is growing up way too fast! Yesterday (Saturday) my cousin took Little I's 2 year pictures. After 45 minutes of him running around at the park refusing to look at the camera, it started to get stormy and we called it a day. My cousin actually managed to get some good shots, though!

Also, Little I moved to a "big boy" bed--really my old day bed.

Little I loves his new bed!

Since he got his new bed, Little I has been sleeping in his room for the whole night for at least 3 nights a week. :-D

Speaking of sleep, I have to get there myself. Barring any disasters, I WILL update at least 1 more time this week. :-)

EDIT: You know what I just noticed? Since I started this, I've posted 4 times every month. That's horrible! I WILL update more!

18 May, 2011

Wordless Wednesday 2

3AM Rendezvous


AKA: Party Time!!!

Time For a Break...

From Facebook!

Every day, it seems like more and more people are taking to their statuses to complain about EVERYTHING. I really don't want to become part of the crowd, so I'm taking a break. But only from Facebook. I'm going to try to divert that attention to a few different things:
  1. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.
  2. Spending more time playing with Little I.
  3. Re-starting Jillian Michael's 30 Day Challenge
And last but not least--

     4.  Posting on here more!

 I'm going to start by posting my "Wordless Wednesday" post right after I post this. :-)

14 May, 2011

Life! It's what's happening right now

I has been too long since my last post! I just finished my first week off school. Needless to say, it has not been as lazy as I imagined.

     I had one lazy day, well kind of. On Monday, Little I and I cleaned EVERYTHING. Even the windows--which I discovered are double hung. I now <3 double hung windows. :-)

     Then, on Tuesday, my grandpa (who has Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma in the stomach) was admitted to the hospital with an almost non-existent blood count. (read--he can get extremely sick very easily). This means that my grandma, aunts and mom have been at the hospital whenever they have free time. This also means that my aunt, Linda, has been "creating" free time by refusing to watch two of my cousin's sons--whom she has been watching for two years (at least, I can't remember) while my cousin works as a teacher.

     So I have been picking up the slack and taking care of my cousin's kids along with my son. Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, I took care of "T", her three year old, Little I who is *almost* two years old, and "C" her six month old, from 8:00am until 3:45pm. Thursday, I needed a break. I felt bad, but I had already made plans with a friend and I just needed to relax. If it had been just two kids, I'd have been fine. But adding that third kid in there just makes me go crazy.

     Plus, Little I (who is in the process of potty learning) has been torn between being a "big boy" like T and being mommy's baby like C. So, when T goes to the bathroom, Little I is in his face saying, "You pee? You poop?" And when C starts crying, so does Little I. He wants C's bottle (which he never really ever had before) and wants to be all up on me when I'm holding C. After almost eight hours of that, I'm just done.

     But I'm going to do it all over again next week (Grandpa's projected release date is Tuesday, depending on his blood test results).

   Now, I'm off to get ready for my soon-to-be cousin's bridal shower. I will *try* to keep this thing more up to date, but who knows how many twists and turns life will throw at us next?

Until next time...

15 April, 2011

{This moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual from SouleMama. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Little I and Papa

10 April, 2011

Counting Down the Days

This semester at school is almost over. I have three full weeks left, plus exam week.

So here's the rundown:
12 classes of English Composition left.
9 classes of Intro to Psychology left.
6 classes each of Nutrition Fundamentals and Public Speaking left.

This means:
I have 1 portfolio for English (includes: 3 revised papers, a reflective letter, and a letter of consideration)
1 homework set, 1 exam, and my final exam for Psychology
Last half of my project and my final exam for Nutrition Fundamentals
2 speeches and a final exam for Public Speaking

It seems like it is going really fast, but I'm really starting to stress out right now! It's the final days of the semester and I'm really nervous about my grades and getting everything done.


Playing in Fires Creek in North Carolina

Four weeks left of everything school related means that I'm *this close* to summer break with Little I.The summer holds so much fun: playing at the park, playing in the water everywhere, camping, and everything else we love doing outside. Oh, and Little I's birthday in June! (And many other people's birthday, but I won't list them) I really can't wait!

So... Tomorrow begins the countdown till summer. Only 15 days of school left!!

05 April, 2011

Blissful Booty Giveaway

Hey guys! This will just be a quick post today. Cloth Diaper Contests & Giveaways is having a giveaway featuring Blissful Booty Cloth Diapers! Now, if you know me, you know I LOVE Blissful Booty products (And Cathy too) so I thought I'd share this opportunity with you. They're giving away Two prizes: A diaper and a pail liner. So hurry on over and enter for yourself!


Oh, and while you're at it, head on over and look at all the stuff Cathy has to offer:


27 March, 2011

Hen House Creations: Sandwich Bag Review

I recently had the opportunity to review the sandwich bag from Hen House Creations on Facebook .

First Impressions:

It's really thin! It arrived in a regular mailing envelope and the only reason I knew it was the sandwich bag was from the return address. First, I pulled it out and unfolded it. It has a blue flower pattern on the outside, and a plastic lining on the inside, so it's easily wipe-able after using it. It looks pretty cool, don't you think?

Straight out of the envelope (unfolded)

Opened up (notice the Velcro)
 I couldn't get over how good the stitching was! Just learning how to sew, my stitching is never straight. Oh, and look at the pattern! The flowery blue fabric is too cute.
Just had to show the stitching. Can't wait till I fully learn how to sew.
 So the next thing I had to do, after admiring the bag, was put it to use. So the next day, when Little I had to go to daycare, I made his peanut butter sandwich and put it in.
Little I's peanut butter sandwich for daycare.
Well, it held up! Little I had his peanut butter sandwiches, I had my cinnamon-raisin bagel, and it really did its job. It did get a bit of peanut butter on the inside, but just like I thought, I just turned it inside out and it wiped right off!

The only criticisms I have is with the touch tape: the loop side (soft part) did get a bit fuzzy, but that's normal when you have a toddler who wants to pull at it all the time. Also, maybe having the touch tape all along the closure would be better? Nothing fell out, but I'm thinking that if I did use it for smaller snacks, the little bits and pieces might make their way into the bottom of the backpack/lunch sack, or be lost in the abyss of my purse.

All in all, it's a great product, and after using it for a few days, I can officially say I want more.

Want one of your own? Email Silvia at silviabuck@yahoo.com to request one!

**Update: 8/25/2012 I've had this sandwich bag for over a year and a half now, and I use it at least once a week when we go out to the park or somewhere that we'll need a snack/sandwich. It is still one of my favorite products because it is really what it promises: reusable, durable, and cute!

I received no financial compensation for this review. However, I did receive the sample free of charge. All opinions and thoughts shared are my own.
Okay, so I'm having a bit of a hard time here. I'm not writing as often as I wanted to or as often as I should. I'm lacking on here, and in real life.
I mean, I have a paper for Psychology due tomorrow, and I have yet to start it. Oh, gosh. What have I gotten myself into? Spring break really messed me up. :-(

On another note, last week was pretty good. Little I has been progressively getting better using a home remedy. He's also been spending less time sleeping in my bed. Although, I woke up last night at 2 AM to find him sleeping ON me, so I guess it's meant to be:
I know I look mad... but it was 2am and my arm was asleep.
Also, this past week has been good in school, too. (Aside from sleeping through all 3 of my alarms on Monday and missing my first class)

So, all in all, life is going pretty well. If I can get this 3 page paper written in the next couple of hours, it will be even better.


20 March, 2011

I admit it: I have a problem with commitment. I seriously intended to write every day, or at the very least every other day. Instead I've been putting it off--rolling ideas around in my head until they no longer sound good.
Can't you just tell he didn't feel good?

The past two weeks, Little I has been sick.  It started off just as a cough and runny nose, and I thought, "Great, he caught another cold at daycare." But no. Friday morning, he woke up with a low-grade fever, and by 11 o'clock that morning, it was a full blown fever of 104 degrees!

Little I feeling cuddly after a nap
And so I've been home with him since then. He's whiny, and sleepy, and wants to nurse constantly, and he's just plain sick. But the plus side is that when he's sick, he sleeps A LOT. Like All day. So I've had a chance to think and write and do homework and clean the house. And then today (Sunday, in case I don't actually post this today) he's feeling better and my house is back to being a wreck. But at least he's feeling better and I didn't catch it... yet. :-/

Uh-oh. Just heard a cup of milk hit the floor and splatter..Guess that means snack time is over (homemade yogurt and pineapple chunks, anyone?)

07 March, 2011

And So It Begins...

My first post. Who knew it would feel so scary to put my words out there for everyone to see!
I guess since this is my first post, I'll begin with telling a little about myself and Little I.

Me: I am a twenty-two year old single mom from Akron, Ohio. I am also a pre-nursing student at The University of Akron--although I still have four years left, so who knows where I'll eventually end up. I come from a very large (loud) family and I love it. They are very supportive, and are one of the main reasons Little I and I have made it this far.

I am what some would call "halfway crunchy". I believe in baby-led weaning and co-sleeping I attempt gentle discipline (although I do believe in "if/then" statements and consequences like time outs) and I recently discovered my love for cloth diapers and *gasp* cloth wipes.

Little I: Otherwise referred to as Little Man, Punk(in), Bugga, and probably many other things. He is your typical active little boy. Okay, probably more than the typical amount of "active", but if you know my family that's normal for us. He is a pretty picky eater (the only thing I know he'll like from one day to the next is booby milk, haha). He completely refuses most meat--the only ones he really likes are chicken (nuggets) and bacon... I know, so healthy. BUT-- He's big for his age; he was three feet tall and thirty-one pounds at 18 months old! He is constantly growing, both physically and mentally. He amazes me at everything he absorbs and how he reacts to everything around him. He loves The Backyardigans and watches it as much as I let him.

I don't think I'm perfect, or the perfect mom, but what I do works for us. So if you're interested, I guess it's time to start writing our adventures. Hope you enjoy the journey as much as we do.